Raising Boys Is a Full-Contact Sport | MOM AND SON FUN | Raising boys, Books, Contact sport
He bragged that his son wanted to be a classical dancer, even ballet. He went on to brag about his daughter and her lacrosse scholarship. Hey DJ, Kudos to your friend. Sometimes it seems more difficult for jocks to not be OK with their boys not being jocks.
We of course found our way through theatre, and boy scouts. Years later as I was sitting at a bar, I realized that sports and men are tied to this delusional state of trying to define masculinity.
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You step into any bar, and the only way men know how to talk and value each other is though sports. Which is sad. So glad your dad was open to hearing you. I was very pleased to read this piece because I was an extremely creative boy growing up in the Deep South in the s and early s. It was, for the most part, like I had just dropped in from Outer Space, in a world where Little League baseball was the true religion with side branches of Pee Wee Football. He never made me feel excluded from him because of this.
My dad was born in Mississippi and raised in Tennessee so I can appreciate how difficult it was for you as a child. Kudos to your Dad for bucking the thinking of the day and that he could show you how much he loved you before he passed.
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Your story really demonstrates the need for an entire community to care for our children. So glad you had Boy Scouts to provide you with nurturing support you deserved. Everything is right about your creative son! I have 12 grandchildren and eight out of ten are so brilliantly unique and gifted in the arts. These global children are part of the shift. Absolutely Janet! I learn daily from younger people. I truly enjoyed the story, as i too have a creative son who is ambivalent about sports until the Catholic bashing. My child goes to a Catholic School which like most Catholic Schools accept people of all faiths, so it is unimaginable to me that any religion teacher in a school that was truly Catholic could be so rigid in their grading.
Most catholic schools accept federal money and teach religion as a subject, and all non Catholic children are excused from full participation in the beliefs and rituals if they choose to be. I graduated from a Catholic University. I actually went to visit my Priest about this episode. The school I had my son in happened to be one of them. I can definitely understand with having an autistic son. Awesome read Stacey…. Thanks Andre.
Music is a great outlet for kids with autism. First Name Last Name. Friend's Email Address. Your Name. Your Email Address.
Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free. Please Login to comment. DJ Roukan. Stacey Marmolejo. Thank you for sharing your story. Perry Brass. Andre L. Facebook Tweet Pin 5 Email Shares Join The Good Men Project conversation and get updates by email.
Respect can go a long way.
Simple manners should be the foundation for co-parenting. Being considerate and respectful includes letting your ex know about school events, being flexible about your schedule when possible, and taking their opinion seriously. Keep talking. If you disagree about something important, you will need to continue communicating.
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Never discuss your differences of opinions with or in front of your child. If you disagree about important issues like a medical surgery or choice of school for your child, by all means, keep the discussion going. But if you want your child in bed by and your ex says , let it go and save your energy for the bigger issues.
The actual move from one household to another, whether it happens every few days or just certain weekends, can be a very hard time for children. Help children anticipate change. Pack in advance. Encourage packing familiar reminders like a special stuffed toy or photograph. Always drop off—never pick up the child. To help your child adjust:. Keep things low-key. When children first enter your home, try to have some down time together—read a book or do some other quiet activity.
Double up. Allow your child space. Children often need a little time to adjust to the transition. If they seem to need some space, do something else nearby. In time, things will get back to normal. Establish a special routine. Play a game or serve the same special meal each time your child returns. Kids thrive on routine—if they know exactly what to expect when they return to you it can help the transition.
Montana State University. This simple technique can jump-start positive communications between you. Apologizing can be a very powerful step in moving your relationship past that of adversaries. Chill out. If a special outing with your ex is going to cut into your time with your child by an hour, graciously let it be.
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Plus, when you show flexibility, your ex is more likely to be flexible with you. Find the cause. The problem may be easy to resolve, like paying more attention to your child, making a change in discipline style, or having more toys or other entertainment. Or it may be that an emotional reason is at hand, such as conflict or misunderstanding.
He painted a picture that was perfect to him. You kept us off the street. You put clothes on our backs, food on the table. You went to sleep hungry. You sacrificed for us. You the real MVP. I remember coaches walking past him and not acknowledging him. I remember the times when he wanted to quit. But for that she has never looked for sympathy and never wanted praise.
So I had to give the hugs but I also had to give the stern looks and make the hard calls on discipline. But it paid off because they are both doing very well. Wanda introduced Tony and Kevin to sports when Kevin was 7 years old. She wanted them to focus on something outside the home and football was her first choice.