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Vitus became the patron saint of dogs. She eye have survive. She take me to the kitchen and the air smell of bad cooking and the sink have one heap of dirty dishes and all. It's like they lie there for donkey years. The ceiling on one corner is growing mushrooms and things. Rule No. That's them house rules on piece of paper that is stuck onto kitchen door. I have not finish reading all of them and Tsitsi already have got she hand over she mouth like she is trying to stop laughter coming out.
Like I am visitor who was not supposed to have see this rudeness. Shingi sleeps in the lounge; he share the room with Farayi. Two mattresses is on rotting floorboards, blankets all over, small heaps of things telling one story of big journey that is caused by them dreams that start far away in them townships.
I can sniff sniff them natives' lives squatting under the low damp ceiling like thieves that have just been catch. She have run away from tyrant auntie who is married to doctor, so she say, and Shingi also tell me how she visa have now expire. Me I have hear this number before; like them other stories that come from abroad, it has been tell many times in townships: some poor relative is lift out of poverty and is taken to them big lights of foreign city, is made to babysit, cook great mountains of meals, make she hosts' bed every morning, even 40 touching them things that should have been taboo for she to even see — things like the father of the house's underwear that is full of them skid marks.
Soon this get father of the house's head all out of gear and he start wondering what else this hard-working thing can provide. It don't trouble him with clever argument like the wife do, and it is easy with everything he ask for. That always ends with the usual number playing: family scandal, disgraced man and, sometimes, unwanted baby. Then she heave she small skeleton onto the cupboard top, sit cross-legged, leaving me abandoned on the kitchen floor.
She ask where I get them from, pointing at them my glasses. She head is cocked, one ear in front. She is expecting answer. Now I am not hungry. She head jump jump on she neck as she look at me, this small funny rural girl that want me to eat cold sardines. The glass slip off my hand and come crashing on the edge of the sink bowl; it break and fill the kitchen with the kind of fright that fill the room when you have break your mother's bestest teapot.
I look at Tsitsi and she hand is over she mouth like I have commit big crime. I go down on floor picking up them glass pieces. Tsitsi jump off the cupboard and run to get broom and 60 dustpan from behind the kitchen door. I pick my plate of sardines again to give my hands something to do. I put one sardine piece inside my mouth.
From upstairs, some baby start to cry. Tsitsi drop everything and run to she room upstairs. She run back 65 down with the baby. This is the baby that she have been telling me about. It's because of the baby that she say she have to go back to she aunt but she is too scared to go by sheself and want Aleck to accompany she.
I have finish picking them glass so I follow she into lounge. She go to Shingi's bed. She tiny skeleton fold neat 70 as she sit on the bed, crossing she legs and holding the baby close to she bosom. With one hand she pull she blouse up. She don't wear bra; she left breast jump out and hang like talisman. It look bigger than the other. She bring she baby closer, bending she back. Baby catch it like thief. I stand leaning against the wall watching. When she have finish feeding the baby she unfold she legs. As she get onto she feet, there is sound of 75 ripping cloth.
She turn around to look and there is one clean new slit running down she dress, from she bum all the way down and through hemline. Behind she, poking out of the mattress there is short rusty wire. Then she turn to me and tell me to hold baby and help she put him on she back. I take the baby, hold him as she fall down on she hands and knees in front of me.
Tsitsi want the shawl; I grab it from the mattress, stretch it out and put it on so it hang both sides even. Tsitsi move she back up slightly, holding it horizontal as she grab them two ends of the shawl hanging on both sides of she torso. She pull them two ends down and across she ribcage where she hold them together with 85 one hand while she stretch other hand out to tuck the shawl under the baby's bottom. She jerk baby up and begin to tie the two ends together. Then she stand up. With both hands holding together behind she, cupping baby bottom, she start to shake baby gently, shaking she back gently.
Then she break into lullaby, and with she head leaning to one side she look like real mother. You can tell straight away he is that kind of boy that don't break wind even under them blankets because that's where he do most of his prayers. He is the one that share room with Shingi and have live with Aleck from the beginning and know everything about who have live in the house before and have been telling me how he run away from his school where he was teaching 95 religious education.
He also have bum that bounce about inside his trousers in disorganised way like bunch of firewood that has not been tie properly. Without asking, I already know that he have graft at Tooting where recruitment agency put him to do photocopying and stationery for NHS.
He juggle it with another graft at some fried chicken takeaway. His papers is not in order; he have do that style of getting visitor's visa and then stepping off with big plan to go back home on the 44th of the month. That's a more direct way; many people do that style because other ways is complicated. Like the Commonwealth visa thing I hear about before I come; they give you two years if you is under twenty-eight years. But you have to wait for months and me I have no time to do it.
Farayi talk talk talk. Aleck arrive from his job and the moment he walk into the house Tsitsi and Farayi is on good behaviour. Aleck have the high head of someone that is used to giving orders and the sharp eyes of grown-up school head boy; someone that have perfect the style of squinting his eyes before making them quick and hard judgements. I greet him like any other blazo when he come into the kitchen. He smile.
One of them tight smiles that Londoners flash at you and leave you not sure if they want to smile at you or if they have change they mind. He pick cup and walk to sink to drink water. It's his step that tell everything — here is head boy that has turn into proud hard man as he take on the world and take stranded likkle girls like Tsitsi under his wing. Many Zimbabweans in London only care for they stomachs and will never do that kind of thing.
Maybe he was also Boy Scout. Shingi appear just when me I am thinking that I should go back to Paul and Sekai. I'm with Tsitsi in the kitchen. He is very hard to recognise after such long. His boots is covered with mud. Looking through his thick-rim owl glasses he blink in funny way when he see me. Whatever Harare North have do to him, I have no way to tell. At the bottom of his glasses' left lens, one crack that once try to scream out in all directions is lying frozen and all them glass fragments holding in place.
At first we don't know what to say to each each. Then he smile and prod prod me with his stump finger in that playful way of his; that is his way of show fondness because Shingi don't do hugs. They have to cut Shingi's finger at hospital after he get bite by puff adder at school. That's why he have stump. The meal that Shingi cook me is the wickedest. He is in good form because he is happy I'm here. Soon we is alone in the kitchen and the comrade is laughing and telling me food jokes about what I should eat when I'm in Harare North.
He also tell me not to worry about Paul and Sekai; I can sleep here tonight. Now he tell me about how he always go trawling through them neighbourhood's bins and skips finding good things that wasteful Londoners throw away. Most of them things you can fix if they is not already in perfect working order, Shingi say with big ginger. That's how he find his mattress. Everyone in the house is feeling intimidate by our loud friendship — big laughs, banging of kitchen cupboards and clanking of pans as Shingi wash things.
Tsitsi and Aleck who have one room each upstairs stop coming out now. Farayi is in they room, keeping to his corner since I tell him that he talk too much. Then Aleck come down with headmaster kind of face and tell us to keep the noise down. But we have to whisper to each each so others don't get disturbed. The game — you have two chances to guess the original source where the food come from and if you fail then the other person possess you and can order you to bring him food for morning break period until he fail to make right guess.
It is also source of trouble. And the reason Shingi always lose the game at school is because me I always know where the food he bring is coming from. That's because when we is ten, I discover everything about the food habits at his home. It happen when we come back from school with Chamu. Chamu have just become Shingi's new stepbrother in funny way because Shingi's second mother have now decide to get married for second time to bus conductor who have already move in.
Me I am in habit of leaving Shingi and his new brother at they doorstep because Shingi's mother, MaiShingi, don't like me because I make Chamu and Shingi do mischief. But one day, because MaiShingi have gone somewhere, Shingi take me inside they ground-floor flat to hang out. And then Chamu discover that his mother have forget to lock the door to she bedroom.
Condensed milk, sugar, bread, margarine, Mazoe orange drink — all is up for grabs. After big feast, we turn our attention to the sadza and okra that MaiShingi have leave for Chamu and Shingi on the coal stove in the kitchen. Later we rub our swelled stomachs and go kak kak kak. Sinyoro was MaiShingi's big brother and the one that take care of Shingi's school fees because he was schoolteacher and have lot of money. She end by threaten to kick both of them out of she house. All this heap of trouble after she have straighten them out with long piece of sugar cane.
I possess him. I still possess him. I tell her that I decide to sleep over at friend's house because he promise to find me job but she keep going on yari yari saying don't I know that I am not allowed to work in this country.
And Paul don't say nothing even if he is the one that tell me to look for graft. Now this style of sliding tackle that she is tearing into me with, me I don't know what to do with it. If I find graft and start making money, me I can sniff sniff that she is going to report me to immigration people. And if she don't do that, then she is going to start charging me big rent and food money and I will spend all my life working to pay rent and will never be able to go back.
I tell Shingi the whole story and the kind of style that Sekai playing on me here and how she give me hard time because I don't sleep in they house on Friday night. And Paul don't even say anything as if he have nothing to do with it. Shingi just going kak kak kak and say that's the reason he move out of his cousin's house; things get funny and air in the house fill-up with of funny silences. Now I am full of big cheer. Me I just want to find my money and then boom, I disappear, I tell him. The exchange rate was 1. Last week it stand at 1.
Maybe in few months exchange rate jump to 2. That is because they rules say 'no safety boots, no job'. On the way back home, now me I see that I have one fat problem staring straight into my face: Sekai is going to sell me out to them immigration people, I know. I talk to Shingi about this trick problem. Me I have not even ask for anything and he say he is going to talk to Aleck. Me I don't mind as long as he don't take away all my money and I end up working in this country for ever. She usually crawl in at about 10am, so inside the house it's quiet.
I know that Sekai is not so hot on me coasting around in they house during the day, eating they bread and eggs. Even if I am happy to have new graft, I have not forgot the kind of mouth she been throwing around in them past weeks. At one time before I learn that I am not allowed to work, me I tell she that I don't know where to start to look for graft. Yari yari yari, when people is in Zimbabwe they fill the air with cries saying they want to come to the big lights but once they is here you find them blinking like lost goats, that's what she say to me.
That make me disappear into the toilet and close the door behind me with big force on that day. Even while inside toilet I hear she talking to Paul about how, like many of them Zimbabweans who don't know what else to do in the UK, I am only going to end up becoming one of them BBCs — British Buttock Cleaners — looking after old people that poo they pants every hour. She also say she think that my uncle should not have buy me plane ticket so I can run away from the police in Zimbabwe. I should have just face trial, that's the kind of mouth she throw around.
Me I can stand anything that Sekai throw at me if I want but this morning when I remember that only some few days ago she have even say President Mugabe is stubborn old donkey and will chase away all rural people from they villages if he can find emeralds or diamonds there, me I get out of bed, pack my bag, kick sausage dog out of my way and go down to the garage to buy gallon of petrol for them. The sofas, beds, sausage dog — I want to soak everything. I have already pack my suitcase and I am thinking whether to start with lounge or they bedroom when I remember that they is my relatives and that old Paul help me get to Brixton.
So without doing nothing, me I drag my suitcase out of they house. When I am halfway down the street I remember that them streets in that area is always full of dog kaka. I need something to scrape it off in case I have accident and step on dog kaka. Aleck have small small hands but he have been in London for four years and is the guru and big man in the house. He is shop assistant in Croydon but can point them places if you want something; he know which is best markets to buy clothes from and also know many Zimbabwean contacts if you want to send things back home.
He is also the one that point Shingi in right direction so he get graft in Wimbledon. First day in the house — Aleck come from his graft in the evening and go straight to his room upstairs without saying nothing to me, Shingi, Tsitsi and Farayi as we talk in the kitchen.
After half-hour he call me to his room. It's like those days at school when headmaster call you to his office. He is lying on his bed, you know like tired big tycoon, and is busy sending messages on mobile phone. There's Nike shoes and shirts in disorder all over floor of his room and pictures of people that play for Arsenal on the wall opposite his bed. And one picture of him, all alone on the other wall and looking square at them Arsenal football players like they belong to him.
Chelsea is better team. I can't even walk because I will make noise on them floorboards because I am wearing them safety boots that Shingi have buy for me today since I promise I will pay him back when I get paid. When he finally finish sending them messages Aleck throw his phone down on bed with pretend carelessness. He start by telling me about them house rules that is on kitchen door and then go on to talk other things; that we have to clean up so the house don't get dirty. That I can find mattress for myself in the skips. Shingi have already say it's OK for me to share his bed until I find mattress.
Another thing: always push for them more favours because if you don't then you don't get nothing. Aleck say he is going to be nice to me and give me soft landing by not charging me any rent for this week because we is already in the middle of it. I ask him if he maybe also give me soft landing for next week because me I am still new native in town and need more time to find my feeties; he don't answer but scratch his jaw slow to show that he is reasoning about it.
By the time we hit the weekend he have tell me it's OK if I take another week of soft landing. This is big scoop, even if Aleck tell me this with voice that sound like he is mourning this decision. Before Aleck agree I have been asking Shingi to push Aleck for me but he say that he have use up all his favours for this week because he have ask Aleck for too many things. We don't want to use them up all our favours all the time or else something big happen that require us to use favours and if we have use them all then we is in trouble, Shingi warn me. But if I had listen to him I would have end up snoozing and losing.
The third thing: never listen too much to propaganda from people like Sekai telling you that your mother's village is going to be take over by mining company that belong to some minister. You always know more than you believe in but always choose what you believe in over what you know because what you know can be so big that sometimes it is useless weapon, you cannot wield it proper and, when you try, it can get your head out of gear and stop you focusing.
Soon you lose the game and end up dying beyond your means in Harare North, leaving behind debts and shabby clothes. I have hear all these kind of stories. He don't say nothing; the week has end and now Aleck have give me more soft-landing time. Me I explain to Shingi how this emergency tax code thing is big con because that's too many Mars bars already.
On Saturday morning we is still lying in bed and this Zimbabwean woman called MaiMusindo come to our house. She is big woman with small head, hard-bitten face and tongue that is like old shoe leather. She have been in England for maybe twenty years and come to our house on the morning of my first Saturday there. It's them salon woman that provide midwife help in the salon back room when Tsitsi give birth to she baby. MaiMusindo is frightful woman. Before she arrive Aleck and Tsitsi have been restless, running up and down the stairs getting ready.
She don't look like anything that work in hair salon. When she talk, she speak slow, you can't hurry she; she can even wave death away like it is some nuisance fly. But Tsitsi say that she is the fastest weaver in the salon. She carry the spirit world with she and wear this old funny air that force you to pay attention to every word that she say because it come out and drop like stone falling on concrete floor. She shuffle into the house in flowing layers of clothes and red dustcoat as Aleck lead she into the kitchen with his hands clasped together in respectful way.
Tsitsi follow and the kitchen door is closed. Shingi say MaiMusindo is old-school kind of Zimbabwean who think she hold all the wisdom and want to help everyone. She want to help Tsitsi since the day they meet at Brixton market. That was the day when MaiMusindo is buying vegetables at crowded stall and Tsitsi is also looking for tomatoes.
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When MaiMusindo's mobile go off and she let rip in old and deep Shona, Tsitsi nearly jump on the old woman with big rural happiness. That's what homesickness do. Tsitsi — she don't know how to keep things inside — she roll out she whole story and MaiMusindo now think she can help. But MaiMusindo don't understand that she is sticking she nose in people's business; Tsitsi's aunt is not going to like this style, me I know. Aleck come out of the kitchen talk looking like he regret that he take this Tsitsi thing under his wing.
His neck is deep inside his shoulder with stress. Even if it was me who have take Tsitsi into house because of sympathy me I will not want to take she back to family that have mess up she life like this. She is damaged goods and things like this can cause lot of vex and leave heaps of trousers ruined from all the pacing about and shouting between family members. Even worse, Tsitsi's aunt is going to accuse Aleck of trying to ruin she marriage by pushing Tsitsi back into she house. MaiMusindo walk out of the kitchen and throw in this mother kind of greeting into our room.
Shingi also feel oblige to follow and go to stand by our door. Me I hang back because I don't know this funny woman. She look absent-minded, or tired. But she is old spirit; she presence make everyone stand still and quiet and wait for she to talk. Now I creep in behind Shingi to see. I'm still hiding behind Shingi and suddenly I can't tell if MaiMusindo is staring at me or at Shingi.
She tongue come out: 'I have hear about you from Tsitsi. Your people — where they hail from? Chipinge,' Shingi say with big football-size eyes. MaiMusindo nod slow. Then she wander out of conversation in funny absent-minded way and everyone don't know if she's talking to us or to sheself, or if she is just rethinking what she have just said.
She remember the point that she is wanting to make now: 'Tsitsi has tell me about you,' she say to Shingi as she turn round and head for the door, leaving everyone under spell. I don't know. Farayi start making fun of Shingi and saying that maybe MaiMusindo want to learn tricks from Shingi because people with Chipinge roots is supposed to have dangerous knowledge of sorcery and stuff, especially mamhepo, the avenging spirits.
Aleck now also jump into making fun of Shingi saying he have mamhepo spirit pursuing him; Farayi is making joke but anyone can sniff sniff that Aleck really mean it. Shingi don't find it funny. Mamhepo; the winds — someone can raise them against you and your family if you kill they innocent relative.
That's what Aleck say as he pace about in our room with hands in his pockets. Aleck continue his lecture in his style of talking without looking at person that he talk to. There is grandmaster Banda who can do all that stuff and heaps more, me I know. He live in the dry and dusty malaria district of Chipinge, the rural home of Shingi's family.
He is witchcraft grandmaster with big reputation. He can shrink any beast down to the size of grain of sand. He do that to dozens of herd of cattle, and use his wife's straw broom to sweep them into old envelope and then board bus to whatever part of the country he choose. On arriving he undo the spell and sell them cattle having suffer zero transport costs. Many people go to Banda but some of them things they ask him to do don't involve shrink cow, but the frightful business of invoke mamhepo for families that want revenge if family member has been killed by someone.
Me I know all this but I don't go paparapapara showing off like Aleck. Banda is big man. But sometimes his magic don't work as expected. Especially with them other things that is not the winds. Like when he shrink cattle down to the size of grain of sand and sweep them into envelope. In some cases, even if the cattle reduce in size, they weight remain the same, so people find that the bus they board, under weight of tons of cow, either break down or is not able to crawl out of the bus terminus.
Eight hours per day. Five days per week. Here you quickly know that the weight of your buttocks increase by the hour and come down only by night when you is sandwiched between blanket and mattress. Then one day you hear: Take them your things and move it. That's what they say to us in Wimbledon.
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The graft end without warning. Everyone on the site have to move it now after we go to work one morning to find the site closed. One servant come out of the house, and looking pleased, tell us that there is disagreement between the owner of house and our employer because them pavings that we have lay and the retaining walls that we have build is not up to standard. And most of them plants that we have plant in the past months have dead, he add. He have been tell to advise us to contact our employer, in Romford, if we have any issue to complain about.
We have been stitch up, I know straight away. But there is nothing we can do, so we scatter without quarrel. Samuel, who is from Senegal, tell us that there is another company in Finsbury Park that is looking for labourers. There is also one street corner in Mile End where if you is foreign labourer you can go and hang around with your toolbox.
Soon some van come and someone, sitting in the van, will point at people that look like they is up to hard graft. If you is lucky you get picked. We don't have no toolboxes to pose with on this street, so we don't go there. Also there is now too many Polish builders to compete with there, someone say. And they all have toolboxes. Finsbury Park is better, that's what everyone agree as we wait for bus.
But Shingi is keen on Finsbury Park so me I keep quiet. That's what I have hear. But right now I don't even know which hotel to look out for. The bus arrive and we queue up to get in. Suleiman is first. He flash his fake bus pass and immediately put this hard-set look on his face, looking straight ahead rigid as he march like soldier past the bus driver. It's at moments like this that the city can get chance to break your disguise with them questions: what's your name, sir; where did you get this, sir; you know this is crime offence, sir? This title that the mud-shifting boy have been given is too heavy for him now.
This 'sir' thing put Suleiman in proper straitjacket. His tongue weigh same as hippo and he can't lift it now. His trousers explode and rip at the crotch as he leap over pram. He land on pavement, stumble and regain his balance. Quality people in nice clothes at the front of the queue have already turn into heap of arms and legs on the pavement. They struggle to free theyselfs from each each as mud-shifting boy take off.
Frightened, he plunge into them pedestrians, shoots past pub, past the supermarket, he take a corner and take his ruined trousers elsewhere. Near me the mother of the baby in the pram is like ice sculpture; she is so pale she is nearly transparent. Not one drop of blood in she face. One by one we fall out of queue and march to another bus stop. Harare North is big con. We have already put many Mars bars inside people's pockets, and now look. I have not been in London long time but me I can smell big con from miles. And that was the lowest rate Shingi have ever do.
He don't sound English. The cigarette in his mouth is in big trouble — on one end he have put it on fire and on the other he is chewing it with them long brown teeth. Me I am not doing no graft for this man, I make up my mind quick. The foreman nod with big satisfaction and give the cigarette another crazy bite while he scan them faces and smile. He bite and chew. He bite again. The migrants shake and blink like convicts. Shingi have one finger raised in the air. Rest of you have to get new IDs.
I warn him to stay away from people with them funny habits like biting cigarettes. That is suspect style. But Shingi say he have do lots of graft in London before. How many graft have you done in London? I can't argue against that. Shingi can be stubborn; just like them millipedes. Mother spend decades sweeping millipedes off she doorstep.
You sweep millipede away and half-hour later it come back to your doorstep, right where it was. Grandmother keep telling Mother that if you don't want millipede to come back you also have to throw away the straw broom that you use to sweep it away. Sometimes she throw the broom away to make Grandmother happy but the zongororo always come back to the same spot, until someone step on it. Now, me I also throw away my straw broom and watch. I lay my big plan to Shingi and ask what he think: I have to start checking out which hotels to mau-mau.
But Shingi don't have nothing to say. He have heaps to say about this. Big ginger for this idea of having fake EU passport start to grow inside Shingi's head. He don't even need the fake passport except maybe to catch illiterate girls by telling them jazz numbers saying that he is French man. At first I ignore this talk because such stories is all over Harare North. Soon the idea start to grow into proper tree and it bust out of the back of his head, tilting his head back.
Now he can't pull his head back to look down where he is stepping. But because he look after me, buying all the food and paying the rent, I don't want to upset him and say this is getting out of order. So me I sweet him and tell him that maybe soon he will have French passport too and become big Frenchman. Sembra che sono occhi, grandi e tristi. Ma se vuoi rimanere amico di qualcuno mica glielo puoi dire che la 5 sua testa assomiglia a una casa. Quindi Shingi abita in questa testa?
Quando busso, Tsitsi spalanca la porta. Ha appena compiuto diciassette anni mi dice prima ancora che chiedo. In testa indossa anche un foulard a fiori gialli: lo ha girato due volte intorno alla testa, e annodato prima dietro e poi davanti. Ha una fossetta su una guancia. Da un angolo del soffitto crescono funghi e roba simile. Regola numero 2: NON mangiare quello che non hai comprato!
Regola numero 4: Chi non lavora non mangia. Queste sono le regole della loro casa, scritte su un foglietto appiccicato sulla porta della cucina. Shingi dorme in salotto. Lui e Farayi condividono la stanza. Lei non si mette a fare tanti ragionamenti intelligenti come la moglie, e si fa andare bene tutto quello che le viene chiesto.
Non voglio dirle che vorrei che me le scalda le sardine. Vuole che rispondo. Non ho fame ora. Appoggio il piatto di sardine sul mobile della cucina e vado al lavandino e prendo un bicchiere vuoto. Riprendo in mano il piatto tanto per tenermi le mani occupate. Mi metto in bocca un pezzo di sardina. Dal piano di sopra si sente un bambino che si mette a piangere.