PDF BERNARD The Bastard Belly Button Fairy

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Free with Audible trial. Other format: Audio CD. Raven Lee by Dr. B Raven Lee , Traci Odom , et al. Free with Kindle Unlimited membership. Jan 30 Oct 27 Dec 23 Oct 26 May 26 Apr 13 Only 1 left in stock more on the way. Oct 1 Perfect Paperback. Farjeon, Eleanor. The Glass Slipper. New York: Viking, NOVEL: A retelling of the classic tale of Cinderella brings to vivid life the trials and tribulations of young Ella, mistreated by her nasty stepmother and unattractive stepsisters, who dreams of going to the Prince's ball.

George, Jessica Day. Princess of Glass. NOVEL: "Hoping to escape the troubles in her kingdom, Princess Poppy reluctantly agrees to take part in a royal exchange program, whereby young princes and princesses travel to each other's countries in the name of better political alliances?

It's got the makings of a fairy tale? Ballgowns, cinders, and enchanted glass slippers fly in this romantic and action-packed happily-ever-after quest from an author with a flair for embroidering tales in her own delightful way. Haddix, Margaret Peterson. Just Ella. NOVEL: From book cover: It's a familiar story: In spite of the obstacles put in her way by her wicked stepmother, Ella goes to the ball, sweeps Prince Charming off his feet, and is chosen to be his bride.

Now she's comfortably ensconced in the palace, awaiting marriage to the man of her dreams.

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It's happily ever after time, right? Life for Ella has become an endless round of lessons and restrictions; even worse, Prince Charming turns out to be more like Prince Boring. Why can't she talk with him the way she can with Jed, her earnest young tutor? Slowly, Ella comes to realize she doesn't want the life she fought so hard to win. But breaking her engagement proves more difficult -- and dangerous -- than escaping her stepmother's tyranny. Hines, Jim C. The Stepsister Scheme.

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New York: DAW, And with Jim C. Hines penning the tale readers can bet it won't be 'and they lived happily ever after. Each book in the trilogy is presented in an oversized edition that features impressive shoujo-styled artwork and color inserts. Grimm Otogi, a farflung descendant of the renowned Grimm Brothers, has always regarded the fairy tales his ancestors concocted as pure fiction.

Unfortunately for the introverted half-Japanese teen, he is about to discover that the Grimm legacy is anything but pure Upon receiving a posthumous letter from the dead father he never knew, Otogi transfers to a new school and moves into an abandoned mansion as part of his inheritance. With a dashing male Cinderella as his guide, can Otogi Grimm unlock the power of the manuscript and stop the fairy tale demons before they destroy him first?

Kantor, Melissa. New York: Hyperion, McBloom, clean up your room! Now the beloved Mrs. McBloom-who has taught nearly everyone in the town of Up Yonder, even Principal Pumpernickel-is about to retire. Finally, she must clean up her classroom. But where to begin? Years of science experiments have left all kinds of critters hoppin' and cluckin' and flyin' around. Giant sunflowers droop over desks; vines with fat green beans climb the walls; and a full-grown apple tree grows smack-dab in the middle of the floor.

And who knows what else lurks in the piles of papers or the lost-and-found box? Lackey, Mercedes. The Fairy Godmother. New York: Luna, NOVEL: Elena Klovis was supposed to be her kingdom's Cinderella -- until an accident of fate left her with a completely inappropriate prince! Determined not to remain with her stepfamily, Elena set out to get a new job -- and ended up becoming the Fairy Godmother for the land. But "Breaking with Tradition" was no easy matter.

True, she didn't have to sleep in the chimney, but she had to deal with arrogant, stuffed-shirt princes who kept trying to rise above their place in the tale. In fact, one of them was so ornery that Elena could do nothing but change him into a donkey. Still, her practical nature couldn't let him roam the country, so she brought the donkey -- er, the prince! All the while keeping in mind that breaking with tradition can land everyone into a kettle of fish -- sometimes literally! Phoenix and Ashes. This novel is a retelling of the Cinderella story, set around Stratford, England ish.

Levine, Gail Carson. Cinderellis and the Glass Hill. New York: Harpercollins, He's Cinderellis, and he has two unfriendly brothers and no fairy godmother to help him out. Luckily, he does have magical powders, and he intends to use them to win the hand of his Princess Charming-- that is, Marigold.

The only problem is-- Marigold thinks Cinderellis is a monster! Ella Enchanted. She does her best to rise above the curse of complete obedience she labors beneath and ultimately wins her prince's heart with her courage, not her beauty. This book is being adapted into a feature film starring Anne Hathaway to be released in Lo, Malinda. Consumed with grief, her only joy comes by the light of the dying hearth fire, rereading the fairy tales her mother once told her.

In her dreams, someday the fairies will steal her away, as they are said to do. When she meets the dark and dangerous fairy Sidhean, she believes that her wish may be granted. The day that Ash meets Kaisa, the King's Huntress, her heart begins to change. Instead of chasing fairies, Ash learns to hunt with Kaisa.

Though their friendship is as delicate as a new bloom, it reawakens Ash's capacity for love-and her desire to live.

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But Sidhean has already claimed Ash for his own, and she must make a choice between fairy tale dreams and true love. Maguire, Gregory. Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. But what of her stepsisters, the homely pair exiled into ignominy by the fame of their lovely sibling? What fate befell those untouched by beauty. Set against the rich backdrop of seventeenth-century Holland, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister tells the story of Iris, an unlikely heroine who finds herself swept from the lowly streets of Haarlem to a strange world of wealth, artifice, and ambition.

Iris's path quickly becomes intertwined with that of Clara, the mysterious and unnaturally beautiful girl destined to become her sister. McBain, Ed. New York: Henry Holt, Trained in the magical art of shadow-weaving, sixteen-year-old Suzume is able to re-create herself in any form — a fabulous gift for a girl desperate to escape her past. But who is she really? Or is she Yue, the most beautiful courtesan in the Moonlit Lands? Whatever her true identity, Suzume is destined to use her skills to steal the heart of a prince in a revenge plot to destroy Terayama.

And nothing will stop her, not even the one true aspect of her life- her love for a fellow shadow-weaver. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. Mizuno, Junko. Viz Communications, Once upon a time my brother and I found a magic mirror.

Tonight the mirror swept us into Cinderella's fairy tale. Now, we are NOT messing this story up. No way. Cinderella is going to marry her prince just like she's supposed to. Cinderella broke her foot and there's massive swelling. The glass slipper won't fit, the prince won't know she's the one for him, and they won't live happily ever after.

And it's all our fault! To save the day we'll need to: 1. Learn how to use a dustpan 2.

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Stay out of jail 3. Find Cinderella a job 4. And make sure true love finds its way. We just have to get it all done before the clock strikes twelve and the chance for a happy ending is gone. Napoli, Donna Jo. New York: Atheneum, From the publisher: Young Xing Xing is bound. Bound to her father's second wife and daughter after Xing Xing's father has passed away.

Bound to a life of servitude as a young girl in ancient China, where the life of a woman is valued less than that of livestock. Bound to be alone and unmarried, with no parents to arrange for a suitable husband. Dubbed "Lazy One" by her stepmother, Xing Xing spends her days taking care of her half sister, Wei Ping, who cannot walk because of her foot bindings, the painful but compulsory tradition for girls who are fit to be married.

Even so, Xing Xing is content, for now, to practice her gift for poetry and calligraphy, to tend to the mysterious but beautiful carp in her garden, and to dream of a life unbound by the laws of family and society. But all of this is about to change as the time for the village's annual festival draws near, and Stepmother, who has spent nearly all of the family's money, grows desperate to find a husband for Wei Ping. Xing Xing soon realizes that this greed and desperation may threaten not only her memories of the past, but also her dreams for the future.

Palmer, Robin. Cindy Ella. New York: Puffin, Cindy seems to be the only one immune to it all. But her anti-prom letter in the school newspaper does more to turn Cindy into Queen of the Freaks than close the gap between the popular kids and the rest of the students. Suddenly Cindy starts to think that maybe her social life could have a happily ever after. With a little bit of help from an unexpected source and a fabulous pair of heels, Cindy realizes that she still has a chance at a happily ever after.

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Parkinson, Siobhan. No Way!. O'Brien Press, NOVEL: From book cover: "Cindy, a savvy yet cynical teenager, still traumatized by her mother's recent death, is appalled when her father falls in love with one of her teachers, a woman with two teenage daughters of her own. She cannot imagine a worse fate than having her teacher as her stepmother, and as for the two prissy girls, she is never going to call them sisters. But if Cindy dislikes her prospective sisters, Ashling and Orla think she is an absolute horror-spoiled, arrogant, and atrociously rude to them and their mother when they visit her house.

Will the girls ever get along and learn to be a family? Featuring the girls' stories in two unique, back-to-back diaries, one for Cindy and the other for Ashling and Orla, readers can choose which story to begin with and will enjoy the varying viewpoints recording the same events. Pullman, Philip. I Was a Rat!. New York: Knopf, But what is he now?

A terrifying monster running wild in the sewers? The Daily Scourge is sure of it. The hospital nurse says yes. A lucrative fairground freak? He is to Mr. A champion wriggler and a budding thief? Or just an ordinary small boy, though a little ratty in his habits?

Only three people believe this version of the story. And it may take a royal intervention—and a bit of magic—to convince the rest of the world. Rallison, Janette. My Fair Godmother. New York: Walker Books, NOVEL: From the publisher: "After her boyfriend dumps her for her older sister, sophomore Savannah Delano wishes she could find a true prince to take her to the prom.

When Savannah returns to the Middle Ages to save Tristan, they must team up to defeat a troll, a dragon, and the mysterious and undeniably sexy Black Knight. Laughs abound in this clever fairy tale twist from a master of romantic comedy. And one glass slipper She has a plan for surviving and getting through high school, which includes keeping her head down and saving any credits she can earn or steal. Just when all hope is lost, Ellie meets an odd old woman with a warm hearth and a heavenly garden. In a city where Twisted minotaurs and shifty fey live alongside diplomats and charmers, a teenage girl can disappear through the cracks into safety--or into something much more dangerous.

So what happens when the only safety you can find wants to consume you as well? Lili St. Crow is the author of the Strange Angels series for young adults and the Dante Valentine series, among others, for adults. She lives in Vancouver, Washington with her family. Visit lilistcrow. Stanley, Diane. Bella at Midnight. New York: HarperCollins, Blessed with a kind family and a loving friend, she manages to create her own small patch of sunlight in a dark and dangerous world.

Bella is a blacksmith's daughter; her friend Julian is a prince -- yet neither seems to notice the great gulf that divides his world from hers. Suddenly Bella's world collapses. First Julian betrays her. Then it is revealed that she is not the peasant she believed herself to be: She is Isabel, the daughter of a knight who abandoned her in infancy. Now he wants her back, so Bella is torn from her beloved foster family and sent to live with her deranged father and his resentful new wife.

Soon Bella is caught up in a terrible plot that will change her life -- and the kingdom -- forever. With the help of her godmother and three enchanted gifts, she sets out on a journey in disguise that will lead her to a destiny far greater than any she could have imagined. Stephens, Sarah Hines and Jane Mason. Princess School: If the Shoe Fits. New York: Scholastic, NOVEL: From the publisher: With her feet bare those glass slippers don't fit and her second-hand gown splattered with mud thanks, evil stepsisters , Ella's first day of Princess School is off to a lousy start.

If she can only find her fairy godmother before the first class begins, Ella is sure she'll put things right. But her FG is off at a convention and Ella is on her own--she'll have to get through the first weeks of Princess School without any bibbity-bobbity-boo. Ella is terrified--until she meets silly Snow, spunky Rapunzel, and beautiful, sheltered Rose. Turgeon, Carolyn. Godmother: The Secret Cinderella Story.

New York: Three Rivers Press, NOVEL: From the publisher: "Lil is an old woman who spends her days shelving rare books in a tiny Manhattan bookstore and lonely nights at home in her apartment. But Lil has an intriguing secret. Tucked and bound behind her back are white feathery wings—the only key to who she once was: the fairy godmother responsible for getting Cinderella to the ball to unite with her Prince Charming. Lil allowed herself the unthinkable: to feel the emotions of human beings and fall in love with the prince herself, going to the ball in place of Cinderella in her exquisitely gorgeous human guise.

For her unforgivable mistake, she was banished to live among humans, far from her fairy sisters and their magical underwater world. If she can find a soul mate for Veronica, she may right her wrong and return to the fairy world she so deeply longs for. Wilson, David Henry. The Coachman Rat. Ashmadi, New York: Baen, Belford, Jacey.

Denise Little, ed. Block, Francesca Lia. New York: Harper Collins, Brooke, William. Carter, Angela. Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, eds. New York, St. Martin's Press, Donoghue, Emma. Duffy, Carol Ann. London: Faber and Faber, Also available in: Duffy, Carol Ann. Dramatization by Tim Supple.

Fisher, David. Prince Charming. New York: Warner, Fowler, Karen Joy. Algis Budrys, editor. Los Angeles: Bridge, Galloway, Priscilla. New York: Delacorte, Garner, James Finn. New York: Hungry Minds Inc, Hardesty, Emma. New York: Avon, Harkrader, Lisa. Bruce Lansky, ed.

New York: Meadowbrook Press, Harlan, Annita. Terri Windling, ed. New York: Tor Books, Harris, Joanne. New York: William Morrow, Hawes, Louise. New York: Houghton Mifflin, Hoffman, Nina Kiriki. Denise Little, editor. Kushner, Ellen. Lee, Tanith. Luzier, Pamela. Mayer, Gloria Gilbert and Thomas Mayer. New York: American Management Association, Oertel, Liya Lev. Palwick, Susan. New York: St. Peterson, Audrey. Ed Gorman and Martin H.

Greenberg, eds. New York: Berkeley Prime Crime, Roberts, Gillian. Rusch, Kristine Kathryn. Schlachter, Rita. Sinor, Susan P. Smith, Mary Carter. Snyder, Midori. Straub, Peter. Walker, Barbara. San Francisco: Harper, Yolen, Jane. Ahmed-ud-din, Feroz. Wolfgang Mieder, ed. Alvarez, Julia. Jeanne Marie Beaumont and Claudia Carlson, editors. Barresi, Dorothy. Broumas, Olga. Also available in: Broumas, Olga.

Bull, Emma. Also available at: "The Stepsister's Story. Also available in: Bull, Emma. Carryl, Guy Wetmore. Crooker, Barbara. Dahl, Roald. New York: Puffin Books, Dame, Enid. Duhamel, Denise. Edson, Russell. Fisher, Aileen. French, Mary Blake. Gerstler, Amy.

Also available in: Gerstler, Amy. New York: Penguin, Hadas, Pamela White. Hambly, Barbara. Hay, Sara Henderson. Hazard, Caroline. Read the poem on this site at Cinderella. Herd, Tracey. Carol Rumens, ed. Highgreen Tarset Northumberland: Bloodaxe Books, Holub, Miroslav. Charles Simic and Mark Strand, eds. New York: The Ecco Press, Hussey, Anne. Jarrell, Randall. Also available in: Jarrell, Randall. This poem is available online through Plagiarist.

Joseph, M. Lauris Edmond, ed. Oxford: Oxford University Press, Kemp, Jan. Vincent O'Sullivan, ed. Komunyakaa, Yusef. Lawson, Henry. Colin Roderick, editor. Melbourne: Angus and Robertson, Lindsay, Vachel. New York: Macmillan, Read the poem on this site at Parvenu. Lochhead, Liz. London: Polygon Books, The Grimm Sisters. Mitchell, Roger. Mitchell, Stephen. New York: Harper Perennial, Pearson, Marlene Joyce. Piatt, Sarah Morgan Bryan. New York: James R. Osgood and Company, Read the poem on this site at Questions of the Hour. Pickard, Cynthia.

Plath, Sylvia. Reed, Tennessee. Ishmael Reed, editor. New York: Thunder's Mouth Press, Reid, Dorothy E.

Roberts, Elizabeth Madox. Sansom, Clive. London: Leslie Frewin, An avant-garde artist who speaks like she fell out of a Thirties class drama and paints like she's trying to make Georgia O'Keeffe look prude, Julianne Moore's Maude is literally the woman of the Dude's dreams.

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She's also a glorious foil for the Coen brothers' laziest hero because she cares about the central mystery even less than he does. Fans of the original True Grit remember Kim Darby's pixie-cut version of this Western's heroine, all wide eyes and too-big-for-her-britches precociousness. But when the Coen brothers decided to bring Charles Portis' novel to the screen for a second go-round, they upped the steely reserve of the book's narrator, Mattie Ross — and cast a young actress who could portray the character's determination with both a sense of backbone and a bone-deep vulnerability.

Hailee Steinfeld's performance rightfully nabbed her an Oscar nomination and kickstarted a career that's now gone from pop songs to a Pitch Perfect movie, but Ross remains the perfect introduce-yourself vehicle for her: A headstrong young lady who doesn't take any guff from no one-eyed gunfighter rascals yet still understands the responsibility that comes with pulling a trigger. She's one of the best of the Coens' strong female characters — you could believe that she's the great, great grandmother of either Ed McDonagh or Marge Gunderson.

The rap on the protagonist of the Coens' Cannes Triple Crown winner is that he's a caricature of the leftist playwright Clifford Odets, their way of sneering at credulous saps who think art can change the world. But with time, it's become clear that this "man of the people" is a kind of negative self-portrait, his creators' fear of succumbing to self-importance made quivering, mosquito-pecked flesh.


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John Turturro's nuanced performance makes him an empathetic monster, but he's a monster nonetheless — a fairy tale to frighten the pomposity out of writers too caught up in their own theories to see the world in front of their noses. Anyone who doesn't fear turning into Barton Fink runs the risk of becoming him. Moreover, he can get you a toe by 3 o'clock. But Walter's fly-in-the-ointment Tasmanian devil gets a key twist — it involves his religious affiliation — as befitting the cinematic tricksters behind the camera.

He's a good friend to the Dude, and though his bull-in-a-chinaman's-shop presence is just a set-up for catastrophe, he's one of the few reliable presence's in Lebwoski's life. Jeff Bridges delivers a summation of Sobchak that, after the laughs die down, lingers as a profound commentary on human relationships. You're just an asshole.

This take on Cormac McCarthy's pomo pulp novel was the Coen brothers' first official adaptation, but Javier Bardem's performance as sociopathic hitman Anton Chigurh made it feel like a true original. Unleashing the latent evil of the pageboy haircut, Chigurh stalks the southern border states with a coin and a cattle gun, offering everyone unlucky enough to cross his path a percent chance of survival at best. But the thing that makes him one of cinema's scariest serial killers is that, for all of the people he kills, the assassin still thinks of himself as a simple expression of an indifferent universe.

He just flips the quarter; you're the one who has to call it, friendo. That's his proper Christian name, thought he mostly answer to "The Dude" — you can call him "His Dudeness," however, or "Duder," or even "El Duderino" if you're not in to that whole brevity thing. Jeff Bridges' hero is many things: a stoner Angeleno, a first-rate bowler, a loyal friend and Creedence Clearwater Revival fan, a White Russian connoiseur, one of the authors of the Port Huron statement the original, not the compromised second version , and, according to some cowboy narrators, a man for his time 'n' place.

But first and foremost, Lebowski is a prime Coen creation, the sort of genial dope who the brothers specialize in and who, thanks to the movie's bearded star, a modern Zen-philosopher cult figure who abides in the hearts of millions. You do not need to have attended multiple Lebowskifests in your tattered bathrobe to recognize that the character has become even more popular and well-known than the men who spawned him. And if you don't agree with us, well, that's just like, your opinion, man. For too long, the knock on the Coens was that they savored mocking their characters, relished reducing them to regional caricatures.

Fargo put that criticism to rest forever. Yes, Joel and Ethan enjoyed teasing the long-vowels speaking style of the film's Minnesotans, but in Marge Gunderson they crafted their most humane, decent, deeply endearing protagonist. Played by Frances McDormand, who won a Best Actress Oscar for the role, Marge is the exact opposite of the tough-gal heroine we usually see in action movies and thrillers: She's a happily married, very pregnant, generally sunny, stunningly ordinary police chief who just so happens to be terrific at her job.

Amidst Fargo' s den of cheats, murderers and flop-sweating, no-good husbands, Marge was the sweet voice of sanity, her homespun Midwestern charm so heartfelt that it belied the steely determination underneath. The Coen brothers have long examined the quirky and the misfits: In Marge, they dared to show the rich, beguiling complexity of the everyday. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. Load Previous. View Complete List. Newswire Powered by. Close the menu. Rolling Stone.

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