The Frisbee, Toll House chocolate chip cookies, and Post-It Notes are some of the amazing things discussed in that book. Sometimes the best learning happens from the biggest failures. After we discussed the books, their classroom teachers each shared a story of failure from their own lives. It was powerful, and enlightening. The kids loved it. Practice with them between sessions.
Teach them that great things come through hard work.
Then, teach your kids to lose. Play games with them, starting with games of chance and moving onto skill-based games. Celebrate gracious losing. Their picture may or may not match up with reality. Throughout the process of their work, ask them questions and offer compliments. Gifted kids are literal and need to know up front what it means to be done with a project.
What does a great journal entry look like? How do we measure success on the ball field? What should his flute practice include? Tell your literal-minded kiddo what to expect and tell him to stop when he gets to that point. Use a time limit if necessary. Gifted and perfectionistic children can be so hard on themselves. Take time to laugh with each other — especially when mistakes are made. Practicing how to take falls, trying flips on the trampoline, and watching silly shows on television all help draw families closer together and remind kids to enjoy moments… and that everyone fails.
I just chatted over Starbucks with my son about how I struggle when I have too many things on my plate. Like all children, the perfectionist craves routine.
Recognizing and Helping Gifted Adolescents Deal with their Perfectionistic Tendencies
Help them see that the occasional break from routine is okay. If you always let your kiddo read before bed, but you got home really late, have them go to bed without reading from time to time. Teach them that routines and structures are meant to help us focus our days — not become slaves to them. Help your child see the bigger picture, and realize that mistakes and trip-ups are part of the journey. Start by having them think about things they want to achieve and break it down for them. For example, if your child wants to write and self-publish a book, have him first set the small goal of outlining his story.
Perfectionism and the Gifted Adolescent
Then, have him set and meet the goal of writing the first chapter. Keep going like this in small intervals, helping your child see that there are many steps to ultimate goals, and nobody get there right away. Many kids get more worked up over their perfectionism when they over-extend themselves. Make sure that everyone is well-rested and takes good care of their physical needs.
Bibliotherapy - Perfectionism & Gifted Students
Set aside time to eat together as a family and reconnect. Include quiet down time in your day for kids and adults of all ages — we all need downtime. You, too, need to have some fun and relaxation.
Seeing a psychologist or a family counselor can help give you the tools to get your kiddo and yourself back on track. Do you or your child struggle with perfectionism? Looking for more resources to help you raise your intense or gifted child? Follow me on Pinterest:. This post is part of a Gifted Homeschoolers Forum blog hop. For more posts about perfectionism and other gifted quirks, check out the link below. Grab a cup of coffee, some of that chocolate you're hiding from the kids, and join me as I learn, experiment, and explore with my kiddos -- and hopefully inspire you a little in your journey alongside smart, quirky, creative kids, too!
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The Unhealthy Side of Perfectionism But, when reaching for perfection turns compulsive, it becomes an unhealthy struggle. About Latest Posts. Colleen Kessler. Colleen is an explorer, tinkerer, educator, writer, creator, and a passionate advocate for the needs of gifted and twice-exceptional children.
She has a B. She lives in northeast Ohio with her four bright and quirky kiddos, patient husband, and ever-changing collection of small reptiles, mammals, and insects. Perfectionism is one of these characteristics. Because they are expected to live up to very high expectations, which they define as perfection. The seeds of depression are planted. A common reason for this is that many gifted kids have a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is a belief that intelligence is limited to what you were born with.
So what can teachers and parents do to counter perfectionism and decrease the likelihood of depression in gifted and all kids? Model imperfection. Point out when you make a mistake. Minimize its impact. Laugh and joke about it.
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Discuss how it can be corrected. It means doing the best you can do and that no one can be perfect. Address all-or-nothing thinking.
Help kids eliminate absolute thinking. Emphasize a growth mindset. Explain that we are not limited by the brain we were born with. We can find new strategies or ask for help from others. Counter catastrophic thinking. Perfectionists tend to catastrophize. Help kids see mistakes and less-than-perfect performances in a realistic light by talking through these issues with them. Student: I only got a Teacher: And what does that mean? Teacher: What do you mean?
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Student: I should have gotten Student: Well, I studied really hard and knew all the stuff. Teacher: I see. Teacher : Okay. What will happen? Student: My class grade may not be as high as I want. Teacher: And what if your class grade is a bit lower than you want? Teacher: Okay. But will you still get a very good grade?