Flores suggests discussing your expectations. Will you both date other people — or will you be exclusive? Such conversations can be difficult, yet they are necessary in order to avoid being blindsided by assumptions and misunderstandings. How often do you intend to see each other? Who travels? Who pays for what? The clearer you are about what the benefits and the struggles are of a long-distance relationship, and honest about how to navigate them, the more likely you will enjoy the time together and the time apart.
If you cannot enjoy the time apart, then reconsider having a long-distance relationship. Sullivan also advises to keep your partner updated on your schedule in order to help avoid hurt feelings and unrealistic expectations. Flores says. Otherwise, you could both end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted at keeping up the relationship. Once you ensure that you and your long-distance partner are on the same level, commitment-wise, stay committed.
How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
Along these lines, Antonia Hall , psychologist, relationship expert, and author of the Sexy Little Guide books, also stresses that you need to trust each other and not behave in ways that may break that trust. Behaving kindly and compassionately shows you are trustworthy and caring, and hopefully your significant other will do the same. However, regarding the latter, communicating may be more challenging, which makes it all the more important. However, conflict can be good in that you get to know how your partner deals with stressful situations in their lives, and you two can work on certain areas before reuniting permanently.
Invest in self-care and your own development! Chelsea Leigh Trescott of Breakupward. As romantic as LDRs can be, they can also be costly. You may want to begin an LDR budget, whether this is a jar for spare change in your room or a bank account that you open. Margaux Cassuto, relationship expert and matchmaker at Three Matches , who was also in a long-distance relationship with her now-husband tells Bustle it's important to have an accommodating schedule and well as money you can spend on travel.
Trescott agrees about money being another component of LDRs you may not initially think about — but should. Although she says there are many everyday costs involved with in-the-same-city relationships, Trescott says those costs trickle out over time more so than buying a plane ticket. As connected as you and your long-distance partner may feel, you will still lead separate lives, too.
Instead, they will have their own friends and family there who they spend their time with that have nothing to do with you.
Well, when it comes to LDRs, too, you need to stay realistic, not idealistic. This can happen when you build up your partner to be better than they actually are in your head, so the reunion between you two may get ugly. One of the things that brought us together was our mutual love of classic movies.
We video chat and hit play at the same time, and it packs a one-two punch of seeing each other as well as giving us a common experience. I think the hardest part about being in a long-distance relationship is finding ways to have those common experiences on a regular basis. Prior to my leaving our home in San Diego, we made a plan that worked with both our sanities and schedules.
We had a few things in our favor that made it work: flexible work schedules and a relatively small distance physically between us being in the same state , but since we set expectations up front, it was clear when we would see each other. When we visited each other, we made the entire weekend about us — and had no other plans other than to explore our prospective cities and each other.
8 Best Tips to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work | Time
That way, we could devote the few days we had together entirely to our relationship. My boyfriend and I made sure to create routines in order to stay emotionally connected. We talk on the phone at the same time every night 9 p.
Sometimes I visit him in LA or he flies to see me in New York and other times we use our once-a-month visits as an excuse to go on a trip somewhere. Having tangible things to look forward to was really important — planning our next visit before the current one ended, having a routine of when to talk.
I spent a lot of time on Amtrak and would take a 5 a. We were both in competitive jobs at the time, with long hours, and it forced us both to set aside time specifically for each other.
We met through friends and were long-distance when we started dating, so we both put a lot of thought into whether or not we wanted to get involved, knowing that for the foreseeable future it would be a struggle. We built our relationship on strong communications and from the beginning we were open with each other, which I think is why we survived the distance. Sean and I met right before we graduated college — he already had been accepted into a prestigious video production internship in L.
We really had no option — it was break up or make it work.
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Honestly, the majority of the time was really hard. We emailed each other all the time — long rambling monologues as well as little notes to share funny things that came into our heads. And we really tried to have phone dates almost every day, although the eight-hour time difference often made that hard. It was our voices, often crackling and distorted over Skype, and our emails. We had one huge fight that we both remember very clearly where we got off the phone and neither of us knew if we would be together still the next day.
From then on, we realized the only way to get through this was to talk about everything whenever we could, however we could, and however hard. We saw each other before I left, in August, and then saw each other at Christmas, and then when I came back. And then the next time was when I moved out to Los Angeles in October to live with him. But, again, I think that foundation of honesty and talking about everything kept us going even through the growing pains. Honestly, in the end, I think staying connected was sheer force of will.
- Rivière Tremblante (French Edition);
- Full House (Virago Modern Classics).
- Coping With Sadness When You’re in a Long-distance Relationship.
It would have been a heck of a lot easier to go make out with some random Irish guy at a bar.